As I go through a season of searching for jobs and figuring out what I’ll do in the future, only uncertainty abounds. At times I wonder to myself if it would have been better for me to take up the KPMG external audit job offer from last year. Sure, it would save me the hassle of finding for a job now and it is a safe path to take because most accountancy students end up in external audit and it secures a job that is like an iron rice bowl (as long as you don’t quit on it). But, would that really have been something good? Perhaps to majority of society, I made a silly decision to reject that job offer and leave myself in a state of uncertainty. After having some time to think it through, I don’t regret my decision at all.
Although it puts me in a current position of not knowing what lies ahead before me, I find that it is through this situation that I realise what it means to have no choice but to rely on God. I can’t see my own future, I can’t see the path that I will tread a few months down the road, I can’t see anything but all I know is that God is with me. Is that enough, just simply knowing that God is with me? Well, it’s not easy but yes, I can say that knowing that is enough. It is not a blind faith but a faith that is based upon the firm foundation of Jesus Christ and based upon the faithfulness and goodness of God that I have personally experienced throughout my life.
I am actually thankful for being put in this situation of job hunting and not knowing where I’ll end up. Why so? Because I realise that it is through this that I have grown closer to God. It hasn’t been a drastic change, but rather, a gradual one. As I continually seek God to find out His plans for me, I become more intentional in praying, reading God’s Word and being more conscious to the Holy Spirit’s prompting. I started seeing devotion time with God as something meaningful and enjoyable. I experienced for myself the power of God’s Word and how it refreshes me and brings healing to my soul.
My encounter with Psalms 23 is something I will never forget. I never expected God’s Word to hit me in the face so strongly and powerfully. I personally experienced what it meant for God’s Word to speak to me clearly (previously it used to be something I hear often but also something far away because I did not experience it). God speaks in the most unexpected of ways but He does speak (even though not as a booming voice or in dreams), all you need to do is to earnestly seek Him and be sensitive to Him.
Through these few months, I am also slowly learning what it means to seek God’s will. Previously I thought that seeking God’s will meant seeking for a magic life plan that God has in mind for me, that perfect path that I should walk. I thought that it meant waiting for this obvious guidance and voice to tell me “Go to XXX, that is where I want you to work”. But nope, I’m learning that God’s will is not for us to know perfectly His plans for us. God’s will is for us to grow in Christ-likeness, to grow in intimacy with Him, to grow in our relationship with Him and to enjoy Him more and more. How this would look like could perhaps be like how I have drawn closer to God because of my circumstance - praying, reading the Bible and enjoying His presence each day.
An article I read says that God’s will is not a mystery to be solved but a road to be traveled. How true that is! If we knew every step and detail of our lives, there would be no reason for us to have faith in God. It is through uncertainty that we have to rely and depend on Him and that is what God wants us to do. God wants us to have a transformed heart, a transformed mind and one that seeks Him and chooses to glorify Him. "If God has given us a new heart that desires what He desires, our decisions are going to line up with His plan.”
I am so amazed how God has been slowly but surely revealing Himself to me as I travel this journey in life. I feel like I’ve grown through this process and it is really God drawing me closer to Himself. I am so thankful, so thankful for this season in my life that has taught me faith and seeking God above everything else. This doesn’t just apply to job search, but for whatever that comes my way in the future, for example, relationships.
I continue to trust God with regards to relationships. I thank God for revealing to me the true meaning of marriage and what that relationship entails before I even enter into one. I used to think that getting married is just a natural progression in life, with nothing much related to God (although I know that God is the One who instituted marriage, but that was it). I’ve come to understand that marriage between man and woman is so precious and sacred because it reflects that perfect marriage that is to come when Christ returns and takes us (the Church), as His bride. Marriage is about discipleship, learning to practice agape love to each other and growing in Christ-likeness. Of course, this is not to say that people who don’t get married are unable to display agape love, but just that marriage is an avenue to show unconditional and sacrificial love. This is important because when you enter into a relationship, thinking that it is meant to be perfect, you will only end up disillusioned. The coming together of two sinful people will definitely not be easy and that is not the point of marriage, but rather through the difficulties, we are to work things out and in the process, learn to love, forgive and be humble.
I’m just so thankful for all these lessons I’ve learnt over the years and more recently in the first 3 months of 2016. It has been such a great journey since 2016 started even though March hasn’t even ended. I await greater encounters with God and greater lessons to build up my faith and strengthen my relationship with my heavenly Father, Saviour and Friend.
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