Life without Jesus is like a donut, like a donut, like a donut. 

Life without Jesus is like a donut, cos there's a hole in the middle of my heart

This is a kid's christian song that I used to hear and sing. As a kid, this song didn't really mean much to me, all I pictured was literally this donut with a hole in the middle and Jesus fills the hole of the donut. But now thinking back, I realised that the meaning in this song is really great and it really describes our lives, which have this hole in the middle unless we have Jesus to fill it up. 

Why so? Well, even after being a christian for so long and attending sunday school since I was a little child, I don't think I really understood the importance of God in my life. God wasn't the centre of my life and neither was He my source of joy. I think I sought more happiness in the things of this world - clothes, bags, dramas etc. Understandably so because these things are tangible and real but God, while He is real, is intangible. And of course it's hard for us, humans, to find happiness and joy from something we can't touch. The instant gratification and satisfaction we get from material possessions and things of this earth seem way more attractive than God, who only seems to live in our minds. 

But even after obtaining whatever we want to have, for example, the latest phone, the iPad mini, the IT bag, the beautiful branded shoes and clothes, I guarantee you that there will still be this emptiness within you. We'll be happy for a period of time when we're still into the new thing, but after a while, we lose interest and start to look for the new IN thing to satisfy ourselves again. That's just how humans work, we constantly need new things to keep ourselves entertained and we don't like the same old thing forever. This doesn't just apply to material possessions, but likewise for relationships - friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't have a boyfriend but I know that human relationships will never bring eternal joy. There will be times when the other person will disappoint you and go against you because of disagreements. So placing our happiness in human relationships also doesn't solve the problem of the emptiness. 

I'm currently reading a book entitled "Counterfeit gods" by Timothy Keller. He's a popular author of christian books. The idea of the book is to show us how many of us hold onto counterfeit gods in our lives. Keller points out this insightful fact that humans will always want to have something/someone to idolise in their lives. There is no way for a person not to have any form of idol (idols can come in any form - money, fame, power, success, fear etc). The only way to break free from being bounded by these counterfeit gods is to replace the idol in our hearts with the true God. We can't get rid of the idol but we can replace that idol with God. That makes so much sense. 

We were created in a way that we will always seek to worship something - object/person. 

Since it is God who created all of us, there is this God-shaped hole in all of our hearts. Back to the analogy of the donut: Imagine that all of us are donuts, and the shape of the hole in the middle isn't just a circle, but it's in the shape of God. Without that hole being filled, we will always have a feeling of emptiness. We try to fill that hole with many things - money, power, bags, clothes, electronic gadgets, people, relationships.... But because none of these things are in the shape of God, it will never fully fit the hole in our hearts. And so we never feel satisfied forever. Only when we bring God into our hearts and put Him in the God-shaped hole in our donut, will we be truly and fully satisfied. This satisfaction won't just last for a while but it is eternal. You have to experience it in order to know what I mean. But it truly satisfies forever. There will definitely still be times when we end up seeking for satisfaction in the wrong places because we're imperfect and still have the tendency to sin. But we know that we can always go back to God if we repent and His arms are always wide open to receive us. 

I am just amazed at how a simple kid's song actually holds such deep meaning and truth behind the lyrics. Just some of my reflections. 

Something else interesting: I'll be leaving for exchange to Korea in less than 2 weeks! I'm really excited but scared at the same time. Lots of uncertainties in a new environment and with new people but I'm so excited to be living in Korea. Visiting all the cafes, walking along the streets, experiencing autumn and winter. Maybe I should keep a daily journal while I'm there so I can remember all the moments! 

till then,

J.