just some reflections on the past week. i started school. so yeah you know how i feel. but i've had some recurring thoughts on how my life is kinda sad, apart from church. what i mean is that, i keep on having the thoughts that i can't find close friends in uni and my uni life is so dull partly because i chose to do so by not really being actively involved in cca or any form of school based activity like csp planning or events planning as a whole. so, you can say it's partially my fault that my uni life seems un-fun. but i question myself as to whether i'll enjoy being involved in such stuff. it's not very characteristic of myself to do those kinda things. and being a socially awkward turtle, i don't enjoy meeting new people. it's like all these conflicting thoughts always come in and out of my mind. i mean, i enjoy friends and company, but when i'm not entirely comfortable with the people, i don't think i'll enjoy the process anyway. saying all these makes me miss my old friends so so much.
at the end of it all, i still can't come up with a solution or conclusion for such a matter. maybe i'm just too impatient in trying to find friends in uni.
okay. pardon my written out thought-vomit. just thought i should electronically record down some stuff in my life so when i'm old (or older) i can reminisce and laugh at myself.
anyway, i've to take this academic writing course in uni. well, i won't say it's a bad thing because i think it'll be beneficial to me. especially since i always have trouble penning down my thoughts and organizing them coherently into an argument or structured piece of writing of sorts. (which you can tell by the way i blog) i actually believe that if you have positive and eager thoughts about something or a certain subject, there's a higher chance of doing well. fingers-crossed, i hope to endure the semester with such thoughts for all my subjects. well, first week's still going well(:
i actually have things to worry about for yz stuff. the band allocations are so messy and so is the undone roster. people whom i can't seem to fit anywhere. lack of people here and there. people who need training and mentoring. nothing seems to fit. okay, while typing this, i suddenly feel that i've been trying to put all things under my own control and do everything with my own strength. how wrong am i. it seems like i've not even been seeking God for guidance. well, it's not too late i hope.
side note, my family's having the january babies birthday celebration dinner tomorrow. well, since there's my mum, kenwei and myself born in january, it's a 3-in-1. hoping to have some awesome korean bbq!
till then,

J.